One Insane Day in my Brain
by Ardeliah
Summary: Isn't having a visit from some of your favorite tv show characters something you would like to happen. What if it did? This is the stuff that is in my brain. Complete drivel. Feel free to read it and leave flaming comments afterwards.


My first ever submission.

Make as much fun of it as you like, I did while writing it.

Definitely not cannon for anything

Ardeliah leaned back in her computer chair and sighed. A single tear formed in the corner of her eye but she wiped it away with a small grin as she leaned forward again and clicked 'add story to favorites' and then 'go'.

Ever since she had discovered fan fiction on the Internets she had been spending most of her free time seeking fan fiction of her favorite tv show characters. The wonderful Scarecrow and Mrs. King. It wasn't that she didn't have any other fandom's that she looked for, it was just that this pair were her favorites.

She picked up lighter and was about to light up another cigarette as she moved on to start the next story open in her tab bar when she heard a slight noise coming from the hallway. It wasn't that unusual, she did have two cats that liked to dash up and down the hallway at whim. But this sounded less like cat scratching and more like voices. Putting the lighter down, she picked up her phone instead and walked toward the wall by the door where the sounds seemed to be coming from.

'Just because I don't have a lot of stuff doesn't mean I'm gonna let some jackass break in and take it' she thought to herself, expecting to see some punk kid trying to break in through the back door. Her fingers tracing out the numbers for 911 in case she needed it.

But instead she just stared, her mind trying desperately to understand what she was seeing before her. Instead of her bedroom that she shared with her husband being at the end of the hallway like it was supposed to be, she was looking at the doorway to Lee Stetsons Bathroom. That would have been enough of a shock on its own, but leaving the bathroom were a pair of barely dressed 'intelligence operatives' who didn't seem to realize what was going on.

Ardeliah allowed herself a few moments to drink in the sight of a dripping wet Lee Stetson wearing nothing but a towel in front of her. But quickly decided that it wasn't a good idea. 'Time to drool later.' she thought, giving her lips a quick lick as she anticipated all the fun she was going to have with that image burned into her brain.

"Excuse me!" she called out, as she averted her eyes and held her hands out to indicate she had nothing more threatening than a cordless phone in her hands. "I think we have a problem here."

***

Amanda was enjoying the passionate kisses of her 'secret' husband as they exited the shower. This case had been a tough one and to have the weekend off with no distractions was something they had both been looking forward too for a while now. Too little time had been spent staring into each others eyes this past week and they were doing their best to make up for it. Silently they wrapped the matching towels around each other as they moved from the bathroom to the bedroom. Planning to dry each other off on a more comfortable setting than the tiled floor.

Moving in close for another round of breathless kissing was interrupted by the sound of a woman saying "Excuse me!"

Startled by the sound of a woman in their bedroom, Amanda closed her eyes and leaned her head against Lee's chest. Wondering which 'Randi baby' had snuck in this time hoping to find Lee alone and in need of attention. She felt Lee's arms as they tightened protectively around her but wasn't expecting it when he swung her around behind him with a growl.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!" She heard him yell. Opening her eyes she peeked around her husbands bare shoulder and widened them in shock as she saw the woman standing in the hallway. It wasn't just the fact that this definitely was not one of Lee's 'Randi baby's' that stood before her that had her surprised, but the fact that it was not Lee's bedroom and there was no way it could ever be Lee's bedroom. The hallway was a plain beige color and belonged in a mobile home. Not one of the apartments from Lee's building. There were a few pictures on the walls of family members in smiling poses, but no one she recognized. The woman before them stood wearing a pink fleece shirt and black slacks holding a short black stick in her hands. She would have seemed like a normal person but the shocking blue and pink in her hair did not make her look normal. She watched as the woman used her free hand to push her glasses higher up on her nose and try not to stare at Lee.

"I SAID WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!" Lee bellowed again. Amanda felt sorry for the woman as she flinched at Lee's words. She placed a hand on Lee's shoulder and was about to ask him to calm down when a cold draft from behind her caught her attention. She turned and gasped. The bathroom behind them was fading from view. In it's place was a small bedroom. "Lee!" she started to cry out, but was cut off when her husband whirled around with a curse as their bathroom disappeared completely. She could feel his confusion swiftly turning to anger beneath her hand and quickly silenced what ever was going to come out of his mouth by placing her other hand on his lips.

"I don't think yelling is going to help Lee." she said swiftly. She flicked her eyes down the hall and saw the expression on the woman's face as she realized that the bathroom was gone. "She looks just as surprised as us to see us here and I don't have a bad feeling, just a strange one, now why don't you just be quiet for a moment there big fella and let me do the talking." She turned and started towards the woman when she felt her husband grab her close around the waist again. "Lee, " she started to protest but stopped realizing it was useless to complain.

Pulling at the top of her towel she put on her winning smile and faced the woman who looked very confused yet pleased to see them. "I'm Amanda King and this is my 'friend' Lee Stetson. You wouldn't happen to know what is going on around here would you?"

The woman grinned. "Not really, no." she stumbled over the words she seemed to be trying to form next. "I'm Ardeliah Longbottom, and you can say your real name here. I know you are Mrs. Stetson not King."

Ardeliah raised her hands in a defensive stance as she watched the fury on Lee's face when she had said those words. Backing up a step she continued, "I just meant that... um.... look... You two aren't real! You can't be real. I know who you are because you are my favorite tv characters. I can prove it to you." She beckoned for them to follow her into a smaller room off the hallway as she backed up into the room. "You are Scarecrow and Mrs. King, the daring agents from the agency who keep the world safe. um... I watched it when I was a kid on tv and now I have been reading fan stories about you and watching your old episodes on you tube. Look I can show you!"

Ardeliah carefully sat back down in front of her computer as the Stetsons slowly walked into the room behind her. She quickly loaded up you tube and brought up the episode entitled, 'The first time' and made it full screen. Then she tilted the monitor so they could see more clearly. The familiar refrain of the opening theme song filled the air as images of the two scantily clad agents started spilling across the screen. Watching their faces as they saw themselves running around town in different predicaments, Ardeliah could tell she would have a moment to take an Advil for the headache she could feel building up behind her eyes. 'I have no clue what is going on here but it can't be good.' She reached across the screen and grabbed the bottle quickly, trying to stay out of their way. The episode opened on to the opening scene of Lee meeting his contact at the toga party as she tossed back the pills with the glass of pop she had sitting by the screen.

Amanda's eyes widened as she recognized Lee in his waiter uniform collecting the package from that fateful day. She could feel his arms tighten almost to the point where she couldn't breathe as they watched their first meeting play back for them in living color on the screen before them. "WHAT .." she could hear Lee start to say as she gripped his arm to cut him off.

"Are there more of these?" She asked. Pointing a shaky finger at the computer.

"Four seasons worth, 21 episodes per season." Ardeliah replied. she clicked another link on the screen and it changed from an image of them talking at a fast food drive in to a list of episodes at . It listed a brief summary of each episode or 'case' as they would call it.

Amanda could tell that Lee was about to lose it again. These were classified missions and here they were on this strange woman's computer screen. Not that it looked like any computer screen she had ever seen. It didn't even look like any tv she had ever seen. There were too many colors and everything looked so clear and sharp. Before she could comment, Ardeliah spoke again.

"Look I know this is confusing for you, but believe me it is just as confusing for me. When I said you guys were tv characters I meant it. Your show went off the air over 20 years ago." Ardeliah explained as she clicked open more and more links.

Lee and Amanda gasped at the same time as images of their faces appeared on the screen again. This time of a much older couple.

"That's me!" Amanda declared in a shaky voice as she pointed to an image of Kate Jackson on the screen.

"What the hell!" Lee declared as he looked at himself with his arms around a younger pretty woman.

"That is the actress who played you, Mrs. Stetson. Her name is Kate Jackson. And Mr. Stetson, that is Bruce Boxleitner. He played you. That is him with his wife, Melissa Gilbert. The show has been off air a while now and we fans have been trying to get them to release it on DVD for a while now. The first season should be released March 9, 2010." She watched their faces closely as they took that information in. "Not only should you not be standing here in my home, but you are from 20 years in my past. That is not a normal thing to happen to me. Nothing like this has ever happened before and I really don't know what to do next."

She watched the embracing couple as they read over the biographies of the actors who had portrayed them. Noticing a shiver run down Lee Stetsons naked arm, she got an idea. "I may not be able to tell you what is going on but I can at least make you more comfortable." She stood up and left the room, not knowing if they had even noticed her. Ardeliah went down the hallway to her bedroom and took down the housecoat she kept on the back of the door. Then she went to the kitchen and got her winter cloak. Returning to the room she offered them to the couple. "These should at least help you feel warmer." she mumbled.

Ardeliah sat back down in her chair and watched as the two stepped back to get into the garments she had offered. She glanced at her camera on the desk and picked it up. Turning it on she took a couple of quick pictures of the pair. Trying to get more shots of Lee than Amanda, of course.

***

On the T.A.R.D.I.S. everyone was celebrating with lots of hugging and cheers. They had just successfully returned the earth to its normal place in the stars. Donna crossed over to where Sarah Jane and Captain Jack Harkness were enjoying a hug and shoved her out of the way to get one herself when an alarm started going off. The two Doctors and Donna quickly returned to the center console and started flicking switches and looking at readouts while the others slowly stopped their joyous outbursts. The three had their heads bent in concentration. The occasional "what?" coming from their lips.

Finally The Doctor stepped back and looked over at the companions who were watching him closely. "timey wimey wibbley wobbley" he said knowingly to the other Doctor and Donna.

Springing to attention he jumped back to the controls and with the other two started pounding buttons and flicking more switches with them. "Just a little side trip there and we can get everyone back home in a jif!" He exclaimed, his boyish grin firmly in place. "A few particles from the Medusa Cascade seem to have split off and infected a reality or two out there and we just need to be sure they are back where they belong. Can't have everything get messed up because of a few dust bunnies." he joked.

"Allonsy!" He called out as the T.A.R.D.I.S. spun off in another direction. The familiar sounds of it fading in and out of existence resonated in the air.

***

Ardeliah was about to place the camera back on to the table when a very familiar sound pierced the air. "OH MY GOD!" she cried as she jumped to her feet in front of the couple now dressed in her coat and robe. She placed her hand on Lee Stetsons chest as she shoved him back out of the way and dashed down her hallway to the back door. Sparing a quick thought to the wonderful feeling it had been to touch the naked chest of that man as she unlocked the back door and pulled it open. The Stetsons following her quickly to look out into the yard. The sounds were becoming louder as a strange blue police box started to solidify right before them. Ardeliah could hear the familiar "Oh My Gosh!" behind her as she started to wonder if the world was coming to an end. It was one thing to have the famous Scarecrow and Mrs. King in her home but to have the T.A.R.D.I.S. in her back yard was just too much. It was the freaking DOCTOR!

Realizing she still had her camera in her hand, she quickly started taking pictures and then switched it to video function. She wanted to have a record of this. No one was ever going to believe her when she told them how she had spent her day.

She moved quickly down the short set of stairs to postion herself in front of the doorway to catch who ever was going to come out of the door first. She didn't have long to wait as The Doctor suddenly opened the door and smiled at her.

"Well Hello there, what's new then?" He didn't pause there for long before he stepped out with Captain Jack and Donna following on his heels. He turned back to the door and hollered in to the others. "Won't be a moment, just sit tight and we'll be back in a flash."

Captain Jack was looking at his wrist device and tapping a few buttons while Donna was taking a deep breath and looking around. The Doctor bounded back over to where Ardeliah was standing, grinning like she had just won a million bucks.

"So," The Doctor said to her as he pulled a little blue box from his pocket and started to shake it in the air. "Noticed anything unusual today? Any flying monkeys or talking over sized salt and pepper shakers?" He continued to shake the box and listen to the rattle as he moved around the yard, edging closer to her open back door where Lee and Amanda stood open mouthed watching the scene before them.

"Not really Doctor, " Ardeliah answered, trying not to get giddy with glee as she talked to THE DOCTOR. "I just had two characters from one of my favorite television shows appear in my bedroom wearing nothing but towels and then had a T.A.R.D.I.S. with 3 time lords and assorted friends show up in my back yard." That was it, she could stand it no longer. She started to giggle madly at the strange sights in front of her. Her camera shaking in her hands. "This has got to be the best day ever!" she gasped out between giggles.

Instantly Jack and The Doctor were by her side, peering into her eyes and poking at her arm. "So you have heard of me, hmm" The Doctor commented while grasping the sides of her head to get a better look. The Doctor looked closely into her eyes. "They aren't in there." He sighed as he stepped back to take a better look at the woman in front of him. "I'm The Doctor, but I guess you knew that already. How did you know that anyway, I don't usually go around leaving calling cards behind."

"I know who you are because you are one of my other favorite tv characters. Though between you and Torchwood I find it hard to tell which leading man I like better. You both look great without any clothes." Ardeliah had decided by this point that she must have hit her head this morning when she had her shower and was now experiencing a wonderful hallucination. There just wasn't any other explanation that seemed right. Feeling emboldened that this was just a dream, she sauntered over to where Captain Jack was standing and gave his butt a slap. "Those buns are as tight as I thought they would be." She giggled out with a grin.

Jack gave her a smile and opened his mouth to speak when The Doctor cut in. "No Jack. Just no." Turning his attention to the giggleling woman he sighed. "So where were you when all this started happening? Can you show us?"

Ardeliah held up her hand and tried her best to get her giggles under control. "Sure, no problem." She gasped for air a few times and then stood up a little straighter. "Right this way gentlemen. And you too Donna." She looked at the the redhead who was strolling around her back yard. "I can't leave the best temp in Chisick standing out here in the cold. Not when I have better things to look at inside." She gave a nod of her head to the doorway where Lee and Amanda stood frozen surveying the scene below. An appreciative glint could be seen in Donna's eyes as she admired the man standing there in the bathrobe.

Ardeliah led the trio up the stairs and into her home. The Stetsons backing their way down the hallway keeping a close eye on them the whole time. Entering her computer/craft room, she held the curtain open for the others. Sitting down at her computer again, she swung around in her chair and smiled. "I was just sitting here reading fan fic of Scarecrow and Mrs. King and thinking about watching the Waters of Mars episode of Dr. Who when they showed up," she pointed at the couple in the doorway. "Then you all showed up in the T.A.R.D.I.S."

The Doctor started to shake the little blue box again but quickly stopped as it started squeaking. "hmmm," he murmured followed by a bunch of nonsensical words that Ardeliah knew she had no hope of pronouncing let alone remembering. Donna and Jack just nodded knowingly at The Doctor and stepped back. "No. really? must be" The Doctor finished talking to the blue box and then turned to the couple standing in the doorway. "You two just go back and stand where you were when you first noticed this place and everything will be fine."

Lee started to say something to the annoying little British man that had just swept in here from that strange box outside but Amanda stopped him with a look. "Right away sir!" she let out with a squeak as she dragged Lee down the hallway to where their bathroom door had been.

Turning back to Ardeliah, he placed his hand on her shoulder and smiled. "I'm afraid your computer is infected with particles from the Medusa Cascade. I'm going to have to do something about that and you may want to step back a bit." He helped her out of her chair and pushed her back towards where Jack and Donna were now, hiding behind the wall in the hallway. The Doctor then took his sonic screw driver out of his pocket and aimed it a the computer sitting on the desk. He fiddled with the settings and opened the box. Sparks and blue smoke came flying out from every side as a few little sparkling red bits of dust flew from the computer to the box. He quickly snapped it closed again. "All better now!" He announced. "But I'm afraid your computer has had it."

Ardeliah gasped and stepped back into the room. "But! But! I need my computer! How else can I talk to my fellow HOLers if I don't have my computer!" She turned to the Doctor. "What are you going to do to fix it?" she demanded. For a hallucination, this was getting out of hand. She stared at him silently, awaiting his answer.

In the hallway the Stetsons had been listening to everything coming from the room when a gust of air got their attention. Behind them the bedroom now looked like their bathroom again. Lee wasn't taking any chances. He grabbed Amanda's hand and yanked her through. Slamming the door behind them.

"Nice legs!" Donna and Jack called out at the same time as the door closed. Jack pulled a debit card out of his pocket and handed it to The Doctor. "Why don't you just up the limit on this and let her use it to replace that." He suggested, gesturing at the melted smoking heap on the computer desk. "May as well." The Doctor replied as he scanned the card with his sonic screwdriver and passed it over to her. "It has an account balance of $1 000 000, so don't go spending it all at once." He said as he passed the card to Ardeliah.

The sound of the T.A.R.D.I.S. could be heard coming from the back yard again as the trio took off down the hallway again. "That's us! Everyone back to the T.A.R.D.I.S." The Doctor cried as they leapt down the stairs to the yard. Ardeliah following close behind. She watched as they re-entered the blue box. The Doctor paused in the door way again and waved to her. "Nice to meet you!" He called out as they faded from view again. Leaving the yard as still as it had been before all the excitement had started.

***

Lee and Amanda stood in their bathroom at Lee's apartment clinging to each other tightly. "I don't know about you Amanda, but I don't think we will be eating at L'Etoile again. What ever they put in their food cannot be good for you." They eyed the bathroom door suspiciously. Amanda stayed back by the shower as Lee slowly opened the door. The faint sound of romantic music could be heard coming from the living room as their eyes adjusted to the low light coming off the candles lit around Lee's bedroom. Relived to see the familiar surroundings of the apartment before them, they both hurried out into the bedroom.

"I'm with you there, sweetheart" Amanda replied nervously. "I think we should get some sleep. Maybe our head will be clearer in the morning." She started to reach up to take off the towel she had been wearing to climb into bed when she realized she was wearing a large grey cloak. "Lee!" she cried as he turned to her wearing the bathrobe that woman had given him.

He looked at what they were wearing and caught her glance. He took the coat from Amanda's shoulders and then took off the robe he was wearing. Amanda crawled under the covers of the bed as Lee took the articles of clothing out to his kitchen and deposited them in the garbage. He hurried back to the bedroom and smiled at his wife snuggling under the covers.

"I think that is the best idea yet." He smiled as he climbed into the opposite side of the bed. "I'm just going to chalk this up to some really bad clams." Then he reached over for his wife and held her in a tight embrace as they waited for sleep to take them away from the strangest evening ever.

***

Ardeliah stood in the doorway for a long time before she finally got cold enough to close it. Locking the door behind her she went to check on her computer. The smoking remnants were still sitting there. The camera in her hand beeped as it reached the end of its battery life and shut down. Fingering the debit card that looked just like the one in her wallet, she sat down and opened her purse. She pulled out her wallet and put the card away next to her real debit card. Snapping the wallet shut tight and returning it to her purse.

Giving a little sigh she stood up and headed down the hallway to her bedroom. "I think I am going to take a nap now." she announced to her cats that were sitting on the bed staring at her. "This is just too crazy a dream for me. Maybe when I wake up I should stop reading so much fan fic. It is not good for the brain cells if this is what I hallucinate."


End file.
